"Damn it, Jane, there's no water here for swimming."
"Please, Honza, you don't have to talk like that. Just because the dam is broken and all the water drained out is no reason to curse."
"But damn it to hell, who drained the dam?"
"We can find somewhere else to swim, like an old quarry that has filled with ground water."
"You're spoiled rotten, Jane. You want water that is not the color of . . . "
"Please, Honza, don't talk like that."
"You are so refined you can't hear a man who is frustrated and angry? It's damn hot. I wanted to go swimming."
"Well, if you took the wax out of your ears, we could have been in Croatia by the sea now. We talked about that, remember?"
"Okay. Give me a facial tissue or a napkin from the lunch basket. I need to clean out my ears. It's hard to listen to you."
"There is no reason to be like a little boy and throw a tantrum or be sarcastic."
"Just because I have vinegar in my veins and it's boiling and making me unpleasant . . . do you still love me?"
"Here's a jar of pickles I packed for lunch. They will go well with your acidic mood. I'm sorry I may have affected** your disposition."
"Now who is being childish? The affect of what you have said eggs me on. Why didn't we go to Croatia? I think you said it would be too expensive and too far away. We were never on the same page about the idea of going to Croatia. I wanted to but you said . . . "
"Now my dear, do please be reasonable. We are in our own country. It is nice and hot. Talking about Croatia is long past and it's far away. Now, how can we cool off today? I am dying to show you my new tattoo."
"New tattoo? Where?"
"You will have to find it. It is very small but in a very nice place, where you like to, um, look. That is just a hint."
"Oh, I see it. It's almost hidden in your cleavage."
"Clever boy."
"This heat is killing me. Pretty soon you'll have to dig my grave and dump me in it. Then you'll come to the graveyard every November and visit my burnt, frustrated body at rest there. At least you will be satisfied I'm finally silent, after I've kicked the bucket."
"The effect of your continuing to be silly like that is getting on my nerves. Yes, a refined girl can get to the point of being, you know, p#$@ed off."
"My, my. What language is that for a sophisticated young woman? I am shocked. What is the significance of this change in you?"
"The significance is . . . well, you will find out if you continue being, pardon me, a jerk. Now I have job for you, if you can calm down and be gentle."
"Okay. I'm calm, cool and collected . . . gentle as a lamb."
"Good. Now I can't seem to put my navel ring back in by myself. It came out. I can't quite see where the piercing is. Can you insert the stem into where it should go? Slowly and carefully."
"I'll see. Lift up your top. I need to see your belly button."
"Honza, I didn't mean that. Stop kissing me there. Don't. Stop. Don't. Stop. No. Don't. Don't stop."
"It sounds like yes means no."
"Yes."
And so he didn't, and they never went swimming that day. But they had a nice time on the beach by the empty damn dam.
So the moral of the story is, "Make love, not war."
Jane's motto is, "Sometimes I protest too much which has unintended effects."
For Honza we might say, "Take advantage of the moment even if you can't get what you say you want."
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* Inspired by my last student of English language, as a reading to practice and extend new vocabulary. And here is a tutorial note.
In the course of conversing with students, a teacher can record words, expressions, grammar and usage points that are unfamiliar--on paper or a white board, in an online chat history, or by whatever means, such that they then or later can work the materials to reinforce learning. One way to help students learn the target language and language points is to turn this so-called vocabulary list into English-to-English translations for each item, perhaps providing also one or more examples of use in context. The teacher can distribute this "glossary" for study and review.
Alternatively, and perhaps more engaging for the teacher is above, to create a dialogue using the target language/-points in the order that a student encountered them during their tutorial session. The resulting full text is provided to the student as a first, passive step to absorb new material in a different way than was experienced live. Target words, expressions, grammar and usage points are underlined. An exercise after reading the full text is a cloze using the same text.
To stretch my eager student, I introduce, above, new and possibly unfamiliar language into the story line (also underlined).
BYW, my student can guide their own learning by telling me which kind of homework or study materials they prefer to receive and work with. And if such information is not volunteered, I ask.
** Reminder about effect and affect.
to effect = to cause, make happen
an effect = result, outcome
e.g., The effect of the new rule was everyone did what they were told.
to affect = to influence, make a difference
an affect = an emotion or attitude
e.g. = The affect of the new rule was disappointment.
