Living Estate Sale by Owner
"fair market prices for really good shit"
[date, time, place]
Not an auction. No haggling. Mint condition, in working order, unique and one-of-a-kind items. No trash, no junk. Art, antiques and more. Treasures that you can find nowhere else! Come one, come all. First come, first served. Collectors' items. Cash and carry. No buyer's remorse. Guaranteed--what you see is what you get. Price as marked. No returns. From the very small to the very large, from the inexpensive to the most. Gotta see this stuff and find just what you were looking for, or what you weren't looking for and now can't exist without. Ranch table lamp of rusted iron? Got it. Antique outboard motor? Got it. Tools? Of course. Handcrafted weather vane of horse and buggy suitable for barn or bedroom? Sure, and why not? Handmade harness for washing your pocket poodle? Why doesn't everyone with a dog in a purse have one? Gotta get here and snag a deal. Won't last long. At the end of the day, owner must move on, close up shop and has to run all the way to the bank before he kicks the bucket. Help him out.
Prepared by Word-of-the-Day Salvation and Redemption services, a non-profit church for the overly burdened souls of color on this earth. You being a whitie of some pinkish color with treasures 'nd to some--trash. . . in the name of Gypsy, THE God is Us All.
Respectfully,
Pastor I. M. Free
_____
* Intended reader is a close relation, seemingly consummate hoarder.
